Fulfilling Agreements with Self

In my professional life, I talk a lot about the importance of contracts in business – why you need them, who and what they protect, the typical contracts necessary for every business, and how to get them on a budget, but I don’t think I stress enough the importance of contracts in your personal life. 

Now I don’t mean you literally draft an agreement obligating yourself to do or say something in particular, but it might actually help if you did. I mean, think about it. We tend to follow through on things when it comes to doing things for other people – whether we’re paid or not for the task, we get it done. The same doesn’t always apply when it comes to ourselves. Why do you think that is? I’m sure the reasons are different for us all, but the solution is the same for everyone: Make a binding agreement with yourself to commit yourself to doing whatever it is that you want or need to get done. Make a firm statement of your intention with dates of completion and sign it. Post it on your refrigerator, dresser, mirror, wall - wherever you look every day and periodically throughout the day. You will need a constant reminder of this agreement because it’s easy to forget to keep the promises you make to yourself. Then put together a plan of action to get you there. This is the key. 

If you’re a marketing strategist, for example, and you were just presented with a contract from a small business to develop and implement a marketing strategy and campaign centered around the business’ newest product. Once you’re engaged, you begin making a plan, right? You start to think about what assets you need, what content needs to be created, who is their target market, what messaging resonates with that market, what are the best ways to deliver this message to them. Then you start to think about the different steps you’ll need to take to make all of this happen. You may delegate some tasks. You give yourself hard deadlines to ensure you stay on track and you check in with the client to ensure that the work being done is in alignment with the ultimate goal. 

There’s no reason you can’t apply the same principles to your dreams and desires. I used to have this vision for what seems like forever of being this traveling homeschool mom. This was a dream I had before I even had children. I always knew I wanted to play a very active role in my kids’ lives. I’m pretty sure that comes from my parents not playing an active one in mine and the negative effect that’s had on my relationship with not only them, but people in general. I never wanted that for my kids, and I figured the best way to avoid that was to be in a position where I’d always be there. And not just there for them, but there with them. I want for us to go through life and experience it together; and to be educated together. I was always excited to relearn all the things we learned as kids because it didn’t stick, but I am convinced if I learn it again as an adult, it would. Plus, I know my kids will be more interested in learning and applying new things if I was involved in that process.  

2024 helped me to realize that tomorrow isn’t promised and instead of waiting for some day to appear where I feel like I am uniquely positioned to finally live my dream, I decided on a day. I made an agreement with myself over 20 years ago and I just recently began to fulfill the obligations thereunder. I moved to Costa Rica and August and have been living my ExPat dream. Now..could you imagine if this was an agreement I made with someone else? Would they have waited 20 years for me to hold up my end of the bargain? Absolutely not! I would have been in breach. I would have been sued. I would owe damages for my failure to perform as promised. But when you’re the only other party to the agreement, the damages are self-inflicted and the price you pay is hefty. 

So, I ask you this - can you afford not to fulfill the agreements you make with yourself? Think long and hard about it. And if the answer is no, now is the time to do something different.

I’ll leave you with this quote I heard the other day and it was honestly the one that got me moving: “When you make the decision to turn your life around, you have to stop and do it right then and there. There’s no other way.” Larenz Tate said it on some movie where he was a drug pin who wanted to get out the streets into the real estate business, but the sentiment rings true for us all. We can try to convince ourselves all day that this needs to be in place and this has to happen first before we start living, but placing all of those conditions on a dream is no way to make it a reality. Just move strategically in faith.

You got this!